Do you struggle with self-esteem? Do you want to improve your confidence and feel better about yourself? If so, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with low self-esteem and feel like they aren’t good enough. But the truth is, you can improve your self-esteem and feel better about yourself by following these six pillars of personal growth.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Emerson, R. W. (1951). Self-reliance. New York, NY: Dell Publishing
What Self-Esteem Studies Have Shown Us
In a study published in the Journal of Personality in 2009, Neff and Vonk explored the relationship between self-compassion and self-esteem. The researchers aimed to investigate whether self-compassion could have a positive impact on self-esteem, hypothesizing that the two would be positively associated.
Their findings revealed that self-compassion was indeed a significant predictor of self-esteem, explaining 40% of the variance in self-esteem scores. Furthermore, the study found that the positive relationship between self-compassion and self-esteem was stronger than the relationship between self-criticism and self-esteem. These findings suggest that practicing self-compassion could be a powerful tool in developing and maintaining healthy self-esteem. (Neff & Vonk, 2009)
The Effect of Self-Compassion on the Development of Self-Esteem” by Neff and Vonk (2009)
Summary: This study examines the relationship between self-compassion and self-esteem. The authors hypothesized that self-compassion would be positively associated with self-esteem.
Excerpt: "Results indicated that self-compassion was a significant predictor of self-esteem, explaining 40% of the variance in self-esteem scores. In addition, the positive relationship between self-compassion and self-esteem was found to be stronger than the relationship between self-criticism and self-esteem."
Citation: Neff, K. D., & Vonk, R. (2009). The effect of self-compassion on the development of self-esteem. Journal of Personality, 77(6), 1583-1604.
Practice Living Consciously
The first pillar of personal growth is the practice of living consciously. This means being present in the moment and fully engaged in your life. If you’re going through life on autopilot, you’re not fully experiencing all that life has to offer. You’re missing out on the little moments that make life worth living.
To practice living consciously, start by taking notice of your daily routine. Wake up each morning and be grateful for your life. Focus on the present moment and engage in your daily activities with purpose. When you’re at work, be fully engaged in your tasks. When you’re at home, be present with your loved ones.
By living consciously, you’ll start to appreciate the little things in life and feel more fulfilled. You’ll also start to build self-esteem by taking pride in your accomplishments and feeling more confident in yourself.
Practice Self-Acceptance
The second pillar of personal growth is the practice of self-acceptance. This means accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and all. It’s important to realize that nobody is perfect and that we all have imperfections.
To practice self-acceptance, start by acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses. Instead of focusing on your flaws, focus on your strengths and the things that make you unique. When you accept yourself for who you are, you’ll feel more confident and have a greater sense of self-worth.
Practice Self-Responsibility
The third pillar of personal growth is the practice of self-responsibility. This means taking responsibility for your actions and your life. If you want to improve your self-esteem, you need to take control of your life and make positive changes.
To practice self-responsibility, start by setting goals for yourself. Identify the areas of your life that you want to improve and make a plan to achieve those goals. Take ownership of your mistakes and learn from them. By taking responsibility for your life, you’ll feel more in control and more confident in yourself.
Practice Self-Assertiveness
The fourth pillar of personal growth is the practice of self-assertiveness. This means standing up for yourself and your beliefs. It’s important to be true to yourself and not compromise your values to fit in with others.
To practice self-assertiveness, start by identifying your core values. What do you believe in? What’s important to you? Then, start asserting yourself in situations where your values are being compromised. Speak up for yourself and let others know what you stand for. By being true to yourself, you’ll feel more confident and have a greater sense of self-worth.
Additional Self-Esteem Studies Have Found
In their study, “The Role of Positive Parenting and Children’s Coping in the Development of Self-Esteem,” Weber and Cederblad (2014) investigate how positive parenting practice and a children’s coping strategies influence the development of a child’s self-esteem. The authors predicted that the use of positive parenting and effective positive coping strategies would have a greater positive impact on self-esteem. The study’s findings indicate that by consistently applying positive parenting and proper coping methods are significantly associated with higher levels of self-esteem, and that effective coping mediates the relationship between positive parenting and self-esteem.
The Role of Positive Parenting and Children’s Coping in the Development of Self-Esteem” by Weber and Cederblad (2014)
Summary: This study examines the role of positive parenting and children's coping in the development of self-esteem. The authors hypothesized that positive parenting and effective coping strategies would be positively associated with self-esteem.
Excerpt: "The results showed that positive parenting was significantly associated with higher levels of self-esteem, as was effective coping. In addition, effective coping was found to mediate the relationship between positive parenting and self-esteem."
Citation: Weber, A., & Cederblad, M. (2014). The role of positive parenting and children’s coping in the development of self-esteem. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 23(2), 297-306.
Practice Living Purposefully
The fifth pillar of personal growth is the practice of living purposefully. This means having a sense of purpose in your life and living with intention. When you have a purpose in life, you’ll feel more fulfilled and motivated.
To practice living purposefully, start by identifying your passions and interests. What do you love to do? What makes you happy? Then, make a plan to incorporate those passions into your life. Whether it’s starting a new hobby or pursuing a career that you’re passionate about, living purposefully will help you build self-esteem and feel more fulfilled.
Practice Personal Integrity
The final pillar of personal growth is the practice of personal integrity. This means being true to yourself and your values, even when it’s difficult or unpopular. It involves standing up for what you believe in, making choices that align with your principles, and admitting when you’ve made a mistake.
When you act with integrity, you build trust with others and with yourself. You develop a strong sense of self-respect, which in turn enhances your self-esteem. When you compromise your integrity, however, you erode trust and respect, which can have a negative impact on your self-esteem.
Practicing personal integrity involves being honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, and taking responsibility for your actions. It means treating others with respect and kindness, and being accountable for your mistakes. When you make integrity a priority, you build a foundation of self-esteem that can withstand any challenge.
Personal integrity means that you make a commitment to yourself and you keep it, regardless of whether anyone else is watching. It means doing what you said you were going to do, even if it’s hard or inconvenient. It means living according to your own values, and not compromising them for anyone else.
Living with personal integrity is not always easy, but it is essential for building self-esteem. When you know that you can trust yourself to follow through on your commitments, you feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. You know that you are someone who can be counted on, and that knowledge gives you confidence in yourself.
5 Highly Recommended Books for Building Self-Esteem
- “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” by Nathaniel Branden
- “Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem” by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning
- “The Self-Esteem Workbook” by Glenn R. Schiraldi
- “Building Self-Esteem: A Self-Help Guide” by Gary R. VandenBos
- “Self-Esteem for Women: A Practical Guide to Loving Yourself” by Lynda Field
Putting Your Self-Esteem Into Practice
So there you have it, my friend. Building self-esteem is a journey that lasts a lifetime. It takes practice, dedication, and some serious soul-searching. But the good news is that anyone can do it! Here are some tips to get you started:
First, try to be more aware of your thoughts and feelings. When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re only human. Nobody’s perfect!
Next, work on accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and all. Embrace your unique quirks and talents, and don’t worry too much about what other people think.
Take responsibility for your actions, too. When you mess up, own it and try to make things right. This can be tough, but it’s an important part of building self-esteem.
Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself and your needs, either. Be assertive and let others know what you want and how you feel.
Find your purpose in life, something that gives you a sense of meaning and fulfillment. This could be anything from volunteering to pursuing a hobby or career that you’re passionate about.
Finally, be true to yourself and your values. Don’t compromise your integrity for anyone or anything. By following these tips, you can build the confidence and self-worth that will help you thrive in all areas of your life.
Additional Resources for Building and Maintaining Self-Esteem
- Psychology Today (www.psychologytoday.com): Provides articles and resources on mental health, including self-esteem.
- National Association for Self-Esteem (www.selfesteem.org): Provides resources and information on self-esteem, including a directory of self-esteem resources.
- American Psychological Association (www.apa.org): Provides resources and information on mental health and self-esteem, including articles and studies.
- Mind (www.mind.org.uk): Provides resources and information on mental health and self-esteem, including guides and support services.
- The Self-Esteem Institute (www.self-esteem-institute.com): Provides resources and information on self-esteem, including online courses and coaching services.
“Self-esteem is as important to our well-being as legs are to a table. It is essential for physical and mental health and for happiness.” – Louise Hart
Hart, L. (1987). The winning family. New York, NY: Warner Books
So, which person do you want to be? The one who goes through life on autopilot, or the one who is passionate about their purpose and lives with intention and integrity? The choice is yours. But remember, building self-esteem is not a destination, it’s a journey. And it’s a journey that is well worth taking.